


good catch

by naktoms



Category: Monsta X (Band), No.MERCY (TV)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, THIS IS SO ILL THOUGHT OUT I HAD THE IDEA AT 2 AM AND THEN DID IT JUST NOW, jk i started it earlier today but WHATEVER, youve heard of overused fake dating plots now heres.... another one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-22
Updated: 2015-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 13:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5049787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naktoms/pseuds/naktoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people do senior pranks, but Hyungwon does a senior bet. <br/>(Somewhere along the line, Jooheon's fake hoe shit becomes something else.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	good catch

**Author's Note:**

> neato  
> fake dating is my favorite goddamn fic trope but there is really not a lot you can do with it so heres this. another fic with this same damn plot. great  
> hope you enjoy it anyway i put my heart and soul into this except not
> 
> kudos + comments are appreciated!!

Turns out, when you think you’ve left something behind in middle school, you really haven’t.

This rings true for Jooheon and his friends. Jooheon really thought they left making stupid bets over food behind when they were ten, but here they are, senior year and in Hyungwon’s bedroom, throwing ideas around.

“Only one of us has any kind of dating experience, and that’s me,” Hyungwon says seriously, perched on the edge of his bed. “There’s gotta be a way we can, like. Do something fun with that.”

“What, like, seeing who can get a date and keep them until the end of the year?” Minhyuk suggests further, and Hyungwon shakes his head.

“No, it’s gotta be cooler than that. Like… the last one to get a girlfriend- or, boyfriend, no discrimination in this household- has to buy food for the whole group for a year solid. Each time we go out, it’s coming off your wallet.”

There’s a collective groan from the room. “Seriously?” Kihyun says, sounding all together burdened.

“Yes. It sounds great.” Hyungwon says, tossing his hair.

“Let’s do it, then,” Jooheon says, slamming his hands on the floor excitedly. “Sounds fun as hell.”

“Sounds rude as hell, if you ask me,” Kihyun responds, sniffing. “Isn’t it rude to pretend to like someone just to win a bet?”

“Probably,” Hyungwon agrees. “But, it’s all in good fun. If you make that clear from the top, it might not be as bad.”

There’s a murmur of agreement around the room, and thus, it proceeds.

The rules are: 1) they can be any gender, from any sort of social standing, but must be from your year; 2) adequate proof must be provided of your dating, fake or otherwise; and 3) it has to last until the end of the year. A reward is tacked on as an afterthought: whoever is the most convincing gets fifty dollars from Hyungwon himself.

Not only those present in Hyungwon’s room at the time are included in it, as a couple of their regulars were missing. It eventually spreads to everyone who has homeroom with Jooheon and his buddies because Hyungwon can’t keep his fucking mouth shut. But, that just makes it more fun.

It’s easy to see who has an advantage and who doesn’t. Hyungwon is gorgeous and already has plenty of people fawning over him on a daily basis, so he’s bound to find at least one person desperate for a chance with him. Wonho is the same but with the added benefit of charisma and smooth-talking. Jooheon thinks that he might be close, maybe. He’s not sure if people have crushes on him already, and if they do, they haven’t made it obvious. He’ll manage without hordes of adoring fans.

He starts with Minhyuk, because why the fuck not. “Is it against the rules to fake date someone in the group?” Jooheon asks, and Hyungwon shrugs.

“I guess not. Why?”

“Okay.” Jooheon turns to Minhyuk, and Minhyuk’s eyebrows shoot up. “Hyukkie-”

“No, no, you stop right there,” Minhyuk says, holding up a hand. “I’m not fake dating you, Mr. French Fry Inhaler. Go find someone else to deal with your greasy ass for five months.”

Jooheon huffs, but lets the issue die. Minhyuk would have been his top choice, maybe. He then addresses the room at large. “Okay, anyone else want some of this fine honey ass?”

“Hell no,” Hyungwon says, garnering laughter from the others. “You’re shit out of luck, man, go find someone else.”

Jooheon sighs. Of course it couldn’t be that easy. Whatever.

By the end of the week, Jooheon has weeded carefully through people he could ask, then asked, and then not received. They all ended up being guys, which brings Jooheon’s personal taste into question, and also all rejected him on the grounds of already having someone else or just plain not being into him. Rude.

But, Jooheon thinks he might have actually found his ideal fake date when his regular Tuesday tutoring session rolls around.

“Show me your fucking report card,” Gunhee says as he lets the geometry books fall onto Jooheon’s bed, heavy textbook bouncing up and nearly out onto the floor. “I’m not being paid enough to tutor your dumb ass.”

Jooheon leans over and snatches the report card up off his desk, handing it to Gunhee. “Fine, mother. There it is.”

“I’m damn surprised,” Gunhee says, handing it back. “Good job, shitlord, now we’ve got to make that B an A.”

“And we’re gonna start right now!” Jooheon proclaims, slapping his hands over the pile of books and pulling them closer so Gunhee can sit on his bed with him.

Gunhee has been Jooheon’s math tutor since the ninth grade, edging Jooheon into something like an acceptable grade for 12 dollars a week, more if Jooheon’s grade rises. They’re not exactly friends, but Gunhee has went from punctual to “what the fuck is this shit, Jooheon” within the past year or so.

And so, Jooheon thinks he’s perfect. For this, at least. “Gunhee,” Jooheon says to get his attention, and Gunhee smacks his mouth in distaste at being interrupted. “I’ve got something to ask you.”

“If it doesn’t pertain to complementary angles, it can wait.” Gunhee says swiftly.

“No, it’s really important,” Jooheon whines, and Gunhee sighs.

“Okay, what.”

“So! Me and my friends have this thing going on for senior year.” Jooheon sees the dread fall across Gunhee’s face. “It’s, like- whoever gets a girlfriend or boyfriend last has to pay for the whole group’s food for a year.”

“Jooheon,” Gunhee cuts in, stopping Jooheon from continuing. “Are you suggesting to me what I think you are?”

“Hyungwon gives us fifty dollars if we’re the best,” Jooheon replies quietly.

Gunhee looks back down at the worksheet, idly scribbling on the side of the paper with the pencil in his hand. “You’re giving me half of that fifty. At least.”

Jooheon can actually feel his face brighten. “Really? You’ll do it?”

“If it’ll save my ass from being the tutor of the bitch who lost the big Homeroom 4 bet,” Gunhee says airily, “then yes. I already knew about the bet, you forget that I have the same friends as you.”

“Yeah, right, okay. Were you not going to take part?”

“I was, but I realized that all of my friends are fucking gay and would go for each other instead of me.” Gunhee shrugs. “Guess I was wrong about one of them, at least. Good job, Jooheon, you snagged the best catch out of all of them.”

“I’m not even gonna lie, you’re probably right.”

Gunhee has a strange look in his eye when he looks at Jooheon again. “Well. Anyway. Back to whatever the fuck this is.”

Some time passes before Gunhee is the one to cut himself off this time. “Rule two, the thing about adequate proof. What the hell do we do for that?”

“You have to hold my hand or some shit.” Jooheon says, throwing his hands up in an I-dunno gesture. “Kiss me.”

Gunhee makes a face. “I don’t plan on kissing you anytime soon.”

“Come on, Gunhee, I’m very kissable, aren’t I?” Jooheon pouts for emphasis, breaking into a smile when Gunhee snorts.

“God, you’re the worst. I regret this already.”

Jooheon catches Gunhee’s hand the instant he walks into homeroom and drags him over to Hyungwon before he can protest, slamming both his and Gunhee’s hands on the table.

“Ow, you fucking asshole,” Gunhee says, snatching his hand away.

“Look at my boyfriend,” Jooheon says intensely, ignoring Gunhee’s complaint.

Hyungwon looks up from his phone and makes a face. “That doesn’t count, he’s your tutor. Did he pay to you to do this?”

“No, but you’re going to. We’re gonna win that fifty fucking dollars.” Gunhee says firmly. Hyungwon nods.

“I appreciate the resolve. We’ll see. Sadly, you two are not the first to get hitched in this group.”

“Fuck!” Jooheon yells, slapping his hands over the face. “I was really fucking hoping! Who the hell got one before me?”

“Me, in fact, and Kihyun.” Hyungwon says, returning his attention to his phone. “I gently lifted Wonho off the market. Kihyun copied me and snatched Minhyuk up.”

“What the fuck, you guys are no fun.” Jooheon complains. “Dating within our immediate circle, what’s the fun in that?”

“Do you forget that you literally asked me if you could date anyone in our group when this kicked off?” Hyungwon asks, fingernails clicking against his screen as he types. “It’s perfectly alright. Just because you went and chose the math nerd doesn’t mean anything.”

Gunhee opens his mouth to speak but Jooheon drags him away before he can say anything to ruin their chances of winning that sweet Chae money. Gunhee still looks disgruntled but says, “So, we’re fake-official now.”

“Yep. To Hyungwon for now, to the group at large later.” Jooheon elbows Gunhee in the side, grinning. “You still into it?”

Gunhee rolls his eyes. “I guess. I want that twenty-five dollars.”

“A fucking ranking,” Gunhee says dryly as he holds the paper Hyungwon gave them earlier in the day.

“And we’re at the bottom.” Jooheon says, pointing to their names in sixth place. “He’s just fucking with us.”

“Definitely, but, like. If we’re being counted as a pair, does that mean it would be both of us paying for food for a year? Because I’m not about to send money to these pricks while I’m in college.”

Jooheon thinks for a moment. “Shit, you’re right. We’ve got to step our game up, we’re both too fucking poor for this-” Jooheon breaks off as he hears footsteps, a familiar laugh, and sees Hyungwon and Wonho heading down the hall towards them. Jooheon feels his heart jump, an urgent need to do something to provide that proof that’s been lacking enough for them to be placed sixth.

So. Jooheon grabs Gunhee’s face and kisses him, square on the mouth, as hard as he can. He feels Gunhee stiffen and lets him go quickly, waving nonchalantly to Hyungwon as they pass, Hyungwon’s eyes wide.

Jooheon finds that Gunhee’s eyes are even wider, his cheeks burning pink. “What the fuck was that?” Gunhee asks once Hyungwon and Wonho are out of earshot, laughing somewhere down the hall.

“Adequate proof,” Jooheon says, nodding. He catches Gunhee touching his lips as they walk down the hall, almost like he’s in awe. “Did you- did you, uh, not like it?” Jooheon asks once they’ve reached the door to the science lab, hand hovering over the knob.

“I- no, it was… it was nice, but don’t- don’t grab my face that hard again.” Gunhee says, voice turning haughty like he’s trying to retain some of his former hardass glory. Jooheon smiles in response, and feels a slight thrill at the thought there might be an ‘again’.

“You’re a blessing in more than one field,” Jooheon says as Gunhee finishes tacking post-it notes all over Jooheon’s biology textbook.

“Your ass is lucky this is an open book test,” Gunhee says, pausing to move a post-it. “I know you, you haven’t studied for this a single damn bit, have you?”

Jooheon smiles sheepishly in response, and Gunhee rolls his eyes when he looks up. “Look, why should I have to study when I have a lovely fake-boyfriend who will do this for me an hour before the test?”

“It goes farther than that,” Gunhee comments, shutting the book and sliding it to Jooheon. “I actually already had half of those written out. I sit on the other side of the room as you and knew you’d need all the damn help you could get, so I was like, alright, the fuck is Jooheon gonna forget? And then I just went from there.”

Jooheon opens the book to a random page and reads the few notes there, things about symbiotic relationships and habitat niches. “Yep, would not have remembered the shit about organism relationships.”

“See.”

“You’re the best,” Jooheon coos, and Gunhee makes a face. “I- I feel like I should… kiss you or something. For good luck.”

“If you want to kiss me, you don’t have to make up bullshit excuses.” Gunhee says coolly, but Jooheon can tell it’s forced. “Just do it.”

Jooheon leans over and pecks the corner of Gunhee’s mouth. “For good luck,” Jooheon repeats.

“I don’t know how you’re going to get good luck out of that,” Gunhee replies. “We need like a ten minute makeout session in the bathroom to save your ass from a C in biology.”

Jooheon waggles his eyebrows and Gunhee slaps a hand over Jooheon’s face, shoving him away.

The bell for class rings and everyone in the library gathers their things, heading their separate ways. Jooheon and Gunhee, of course, head downstairs to the science classroom and take their respective seats. Jooheon waves at Gunhee enthusiastically before the teacher can call him down, and Gunhee sticks out his tongue in response.

Gunhee’s notes are, of course, written in his real life blunt language, telling Jooheon things he needs to know in simple terms with scattered “shithead”s and “fucknugget”s thrown around. It saves Jooheon a lot of reading time, with Gunhee having highlighted important passages in the actual text for him to read himself.

Jooheon notices, on page 25, that there’s very small text in the corner of one post-it about the food web. He leans closer to read it, eventually seeing that it says, “shit’s about to get gay bitch hold onto your shit”. Jooheon just barely keeps himself from snorting, and looks to where Gunhee is sitting across the room, hunched over his own book, finger tapping at the edge of the paper. Jooheon realizes that Gunhee probably had very little time to put notes in his own book and feels a little bad, even though he knows Gunhee also actually studied.

Jooheon waits patiently for the aforementioned gay shit, but it doesn’t come until the very last passage that pertains to the very last set of questions in the test. On one post-it, there is actual information, detailing climate change’s effect on habitats. Then, on another, there is the gay shit.

_I liked the way you kissed me._

Jooheon feels his cheeks warm and he puts his hands over his face once he’s filled in the last bubble with his answer. He peeks through his fingers and sees Gunhee looking over his shoulder at him, probably long finished with his test. Gunhee looks amused, but it’s overlaid with fondness that makes Jooheon’s heart do funny things.

This is probably not at all what the point of the grand Homeroom 4 bet was, Jooheon decides once the test time is over and the teacher collects them for grading. Jooheon also decides when Gunhee bumps into him on his way out with a grin that he doesn’t give a shit.

Jooheon keeps quiet until Tuesday rolls around.

“So,” Jooheon says, and Gunhee trails off in favor of listening to whatever Jooheon’s got to say. “You liked the way I kissed you, huh?”

It seems almost like Gunhee forgot about it, or maybe was hoping Jooheon wouldn’t say anything. He blushes and makes a conspicuous show of reading the next line of geometry text, firmly ignoring Jooheon’s words.

“Do you want me to do it again?” Jooheon interrupts. Gunhee falls silent.

“It-” Gunhee begins, then seems to reconsider. “It’s… it’s weird to like, even think about doing it where… where people can’t see us? Because it’s supposed to be for show and if we do it here it feels less like for show and more like… I dunno.”

“I dunno either,” Jooheon agrees, looking away from Gunhee’s face and instead at his hands. Gunhee is fiddling with the corner of the page, folding and unfolding it. “Which one were you talking about? Which kiss, I mean.”

“It doesn’t really matter,” Gunhee replies. Jooheon feels horribly awkward. “I- fuck, I just told you yesterday not to bullshit around and here I am. What a goddamn hypocrite.” Gunhee takes a deep breath, fingers finally leaving the paper alone. “Lee Jooheon. Kiss me again.”

Jooheon does. He leans over and kisses Gunhee somewhere in-between their two kisses before, firm enough to matter but soft enough that Jooheon thinks even he melts inside. Jooheon keeps his face close after he breaks away, looking into Gunhee’s eyes. “You’re really pretty,” Jooheon blurts, and then kind of wishes he hadn’t said anything.

At least, until Gunhee speaks in turn. “Thanks. You are too.”

“I wish we weren’t fake bitches,” Jooheon says. Gunhee laughs.

“You barely know anything about me. Even if we weren’t fake bitches I don’t… I don’t think it would work.”

Jooheon races through a few different responses, and ends up kissing Gunhee again instead.

Two months, three months, four months. Hyungwon changes the ranking.

“Second,” Jooheon says the instant Hyungwon gives it to him. “Why the fuck are you first?”

“Because I have insider information,” Hyungwon says, and his subsequent smug expression tells Jooheon all he needs to know.

“Oh no. You fucked him.”

“Of course I fucked him. You’re only second because of that kiss in the hall three months ago.”

Jooheon huffs. “We’ve done a lot more than that.”

“Like what?”

There’s a challenge burning in Hyungwon’s eyes. “Uh, like… more kissing.”

“Mmhm. Cute.” Hyungwon starts to walk away, then stops and says over his shoulder, “You might not win that fifty dollars, but you might win something else.”

Jooheon stands in the hall for a few moments, processing Hyungwon’s words. Then he slaps his hands over his face and groans.

“You’re so easy, Gunhee,” Jooheon says, stretching out on his bed as Gunhee sits at his desk, laptop opened in front of him. “I just had to give you five dollars.”

“Do you know why I’m a tutor, Jooheon?” Gunhee asks, turning to him with an expectant expression. “I get extra credit for this shit. But it doesn’t count if you make shitty grades all fucking year. So that’s why I’m writing your history report.”

Jooheon blows him a kiss. Gunhee pretends to catch it, then flicks it away. “I’m hurt,” Jooheon says quietly, pressing a hand to his chest.

“Good,” Gunhee shoots back, grinning. He then turns back to his laptop, fingers proceeding to fly across the keyboard as he types up a rough draft for Jooheon’s essay, which is due next Monday.

“We graduate in a month,” Jooheon says after a few minutes. Gunhee nods. “Are you going to college?”

“Yeah, ‘course. I got a scholarship for music. What about you?”

“I want to, but I’m not gonna get a scholarship or anything.” Jooheon’s silent for a moment, letting his head drop so he’s staring at the floor instead of at Gunhee. “I probably wouldn’t have the money to go to the same one as you, anyway.”

“Did you want to?” Gunhee asks, fingers stuttering over the keys.

“I- kind of. I feel like we’re friends now, I didn’t… ugh, I didn’t want to lose you so soon. That’s cheesy, right?”

“That’s boyfriend shit,” Gunhee says, joking edge to his voice. Jooheon doesn’t respond. “Ah, man… god, I really don’t know what to say about that. I’m sorry?”

“You don’t have to be sorry just ‘cause you’re like… good, or whatever.” Jooheon folds his arms up, resting his chin on them. “I’ll miss you. I’m mad that we only got close when I decided to use you for fifty dollars.”

“Twenty-five,” Gunhee corrects. “And we’re not even going to get that now, probably, because I’m fucking certain that Hyungwon and Wonho have banged at least twice. I saw those fucking hickies on Hyungwon’s neck.”

“Maybe we should do something to get Hyungwon to at least consider giving us money.” Jooheon sits up, stretching. “Like… fake something.”

“Ah, yes, more fake hoe shit. Lay it on me.”

“Like, the hickey shit. Hickies aren’t hard to make.”

Gunhee slumps in his chair. “But it’s. The making.”

“Don’t be fucking gay.”

“What about this isn’t fucking gay?”

Jooheon thinks. “True. Okay.”

Gunhee sighs. “If we get into this fake hoe shit, your report is never getting finished. Weigh your pros and cons, Jooheon.”

“Okay, pros to coming over there and eating your neck.” Jooheon begins ticking them off on his fingers. “First, potential Chae money, which he never parts with. Second, gay. Third, uh, I dunno. Cons… I make a shitty grade in history. That’s it.”

“The fact that ‘gay’ is a pro to you is very telling.” Gunhee concludes after a moment’s thought. “Fine. Bite me too hard and I’ll kick your fucking ass.”

Jooheon feels a spark of excitement, jumping up and coming to stand behind Gunhee. Somehow, he feels no sort of awkwardness, like he normally does when Gunhee and he do some fake hoe shit.

Gunhee shivers when Jooheon kisses the side of his neck and then whispers, “Don’t you dare make a remark on anything I do right now. Keep this shit to yourself.”

Jooheon would have it no other way. He would love to keep Gunhee’s shivers to himself.

Jooheon drags Gunhee to an empty hallway while the announcer is still in the A names, working in alphabetical order.

“We gotta make this shit quick ‘cause the L’s are coming up quick.” Jooheon says when Gunhee looks at him, baffled. “Do you want to date me?”

“I- I, but-”

“Time is wastin’,” Jooheon cuts in. “I want to date you, so spit it out.”

“Yes,” Gunhee blurts. “Yes, I do. I want-”

“No time for sappy shit, babe, we’ve got shit to do.” Jooheon pauses for a long moment before kissing Gunhee, quick and firm. “Come over later, I’m not going to Hyungwon’s shitty grad party.”

“Neither am I.” Gunhee says, smiling. “We can have our own grad party. With legal drinks.”

Jooheon nods in agreement. They walk hand in hand back out to the football field, where the names being called are just now reaching the C’s, and they make it to their seats just in time to see Hyungwon striding across the stage, the picture of regality as he takes his diploma and the offered bouquet of flowers. Jooheon hopes he’ll look half as beautiful on stage.

“You should forgo the hat more often,” Jooheon says, raking his hands through Gunhee’s hair as Gunhee downs his second Coke of the night. “You were joking when you said I snagged the best catch of them all but I’m starting to think you were one hundred percent right.”

“Like you ever doubted it,” Gunhee says primly, tossing his hair. “I’m the most beautiful, and also not afraid to call you an asslamp.”

“Thanks. Those are qualities I like in a boyfriend.”

“When have you ever had a boyfriend before to know what qualities you like?”

“I dated myself in middle school.”

“Jesus.”


End file.
